Teach your children not to encourage and praise
Friends at home party, two little boys under three years old playing in the living room, having fun, actually holding water guns on adults, spraying water around the room.
The mother of one of the boys snapped sharply, “Hurry up, why is there no such thing as a rule?
“My mother screamed, and the two children were playing so hard they couldn’t stop the car, as if they didn’t hear it, they continued to fight water.
At this time, the mother of another boy clapped his hands and said, “I know Yang Yang and Bing Bing are good children. I know that I can’t spray water in the house. See who is a good child to stop first?”
Hey, is Yangyang the most obedient?
Quickly, Bingbing cannot fall behind.
“The boy named Yangyang hesitated and wanted to spray. As a result, the boy named Bingbing lay down the water gun first and yelled,” Yeah, I have won, I am a good boy. ”
“Yangyang also quickly put down the water gun.
The mother immediately rewarded: “All good children, come, aunts will lead you out to play.
“The two children followed the elevator cheerfully, and the living room finally quieted down.
You see, this is the child.
The power of praise is always greater than the power of criticism.
Therefore, if you are a mother, you have to encourage and praise your children. This will have unexpected results in your child’s education.
Anthropologist John Dewey once said, “The deepest driving force in human nature is the desire to have, to be praised.
“Everyone wants to be praised, in a psychological sense stems from the individual’s spiritual desire to be respected and recognized.
Once this spiritual need is met, a person is confident and motivated.
In the United States, the name Napoleon Hill is a household name.
He is the greatest inspirational success master in the world. His philosophy of success and seventeen principles of success, and his eternal enthusiasm have inspired millions, so he is known as the “Millionaire Creator”.
Napoleon Hill’s young mother died.
One day his father brought his stepmother home.
The day the stranger’s woman entered the family, Napoleon Hill was very worried about her attitude towards her, and put her hands on her chest with her arms folded, staring upright at her, without the slightest welcome expression.
The father said to his stepmother, “This is Napoleon, the worst of the Hill brothers.
“Napoleon Hill will never forget how his stepmother treated his father.
She put her hands on Napoleon’s shoulders, and looked at his eyes gently and lovingly, saying, “Is this the worst child?
He happens to be the smartest of these children, and all we have to do is to bring out the smart qualities he has.
“At that moment, Napoleon Hill said he would always have a dear.
In the days to come, he was willing to heed the instructions of his stepmother. With the encouragement of his stepmother, he worked hard to pursue great achievements and become a successful person.
One of the easiest and worst things to do in the world is to give advice to others and pick up on others’ problems.
Even small children are reluctant to be forced and criticized.
As a mother, consider how much encouragement and praise we have given our children in the years we spent with them?
How much criticism and accusation have been given?
The way we treat children ironically, critically, and critically is the most taboo way for us as educators.
Man is an animal that likes to be loved and understood by others.
Children whose hearts are as transparent as glass need our care and appreciation.
It is important for the child to have a self-confidence and self-love spirit. This spirit is more a substitute for the person who raised him in the first place.
The mother’s encouraging eyes, positive words, like the seeds of self-confidence, were sown in the child’s heart.
I often encounter a mother in the elevator who leads her child to a math class or composition class. I said, “Ah, such a smart child still needs to go to cram school?Listen carefully in class, and you will get good grades after completing the homework carefully.
“I said this for a purpose, but the mother didn’t understand, and said in front of the child,” Oh, no way, he’s not good at math, and his composition is not good.
The child blinked and looked at me. I was anxious for the mother in my heart: how can I give him such a body in front of the child?
Even if it’s really bad, it should be downplayed and encouraged!
I hope that mother sees this paragraph, and reflect on her sternness on the child, is there still a little bit of use of educational psychology?
I think of the Japanese book “Little Doudou by the Window” again.
Author Kuroyanagi Kuroyanagi is the only UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador in Asia and the most famous TV host with billions of viewers in the world. He has been hailed as Japan by the New York Times and Time magazineThe greatest woman.
But she was a child who was forced to drop out of school because of naughtiness.
The book she wrote is the largest-selling book in Japanese history, translated into 33 languages and distributed worldwide.
What she wrote was that after she was forced to drop out of school, she came to Ba Xueyuan. With the care and encouragement of the principal Mr. Kobayashi, she gradually changed from a “weird” child to a child that everyone can accept.
The author remembers a word that the principal Mr. Kobayashi said to her forever: “You are such a good boy.
“It is such a precious word that changed Xiaodou’s life.
It is moving that while Xiaodoudou was in Baxueyuan, Mr. Kobayashi kept saying this to her: “Xiaodoudou, you are such a good boy.
“That time was full of the foundation of her glorious life.
“You are such a good boy” is the child’s favorite sentence.
We are willing to give the child all the good things in the world, but think about it, don’t we tell him what the child likes to hear?
Learn to look at children with appreciation.
There must be something irreplaceable in him, and that’s enough.
The more you admire him, the more you make him feel that he has power, the more he has power, and he will live the excitement we expect.
It is said that someone once pointed at dozens of pots of pine that were placed together and asked others to identify some of them as real pines, among them fake pines.
The shapes of these green pines are exactly the same, but someone quickly recognizes them.
Asked why, he said: “It’s very simple. Just look at that branch and leaves, and anyone with small bug eyes must be really loose.
“This is called” Flawless and Untrue. ”
One mother, when she was middle-aged, saw a picture of herself when she graduated from college and said to herself: “I wasn’t ugly in the past!
“But from childhood to age, she always felt that she was not good-looking, and rarely even had the courage to look in the mirror.
Because from the moment she remembers, her mother has always been in front of her, and used a correct tone to talk about her shortcomings, making her stronger in appearance, and not having a little confidence in her heart. She missed many opportunities in work and communication because of inferiority.
In our education, we have been taught to be humble, and the publicity of personality is not promoted.
In school, if we say “my volunteer is to be a clown in the future”, our teachers may exclude the responsibility to say “really ambitious”, and foreign teachers can say: “May you bring laughter to the world!
“At home, if we say” Mom, my score has improved a lot this time, “Mom will say,” Don’t be proud, you are still far behind! ”
“Our mothers” trick “us more often, and rarely” see flowers “on us.
Although we have grown up in such “strict” education, we still long for such a recognition and affirmation deep in our hearts.
It was an empty hole in the soul in childhood.
Appreciation, encouragement, but guidance. This kind of education does not lie in how much culture the mother has, but whether she has a loving and quiet heart.
I know a mother who is a illiterate rural woman. She did not give her son a wealthy family. Life has always been difficult and difficult, but she gave her son appreciation and encouragement forever.
After her death in her eighties, the most memorable thing for her son was the words his mother said to him since he was a child: “Take a little harder, you will be better.
“With your mother’s most sincere love and praise, give your child a complete, healthy, and confident heart.
Believe that our children, that fresh and vibrant new life, must have more advantages. It is worth us to look at with appreciation, to praise with affirmation. What the children give us will be numerous surprises!!